If there’s one word I could use to describe this past year for me, it would be ‘growth’. I challenged myself on all levels: mentally, physically, and emotionally. I took risks: launched this site, traveled to places I’ve never been before, put myself and ASSET out there.I chose to be active with my dreams. Marie Forleo says it best, “Through action comes clarity.” That’s exactly what I’ve done this year: taken action to find some sense of clarity. Along the way, I’ve discovered a lot about myself and life.
The 12 Lessons I’ve Learned in 2012
1. Education is not defined by a system, but by yourself.
I’ve always been educating myself in ASSET, and just because I don’t have a degree or because I am only a teenager does not mean I am not expert. We choose to be how educated we are. We can go to school up through a graduate program, but do we really learn anything? Learn. I mean, understand, absorb, and use the information. The biggest lesson for me this year was I am in control of how educated I desire to be.
2. Don’t trust fear. Listen to your voice.
There are two voices in my head: one is Fear, the other is Tessa. This year I chose to listen to Tessa and told Fear, “shut up”. Believe me, it was hard. Fear is very convincing and persistent. With meditation, I was able to listen to fear, but not let it make decisions for me or affect how I acted. While meditating, I also began to hear Tessa. She’s actually a lot wiser then fear.
3. Failures are opportunities in disguise.
Failure is my BFF. You know, why? Because it always teaches me a lesson. I find growth and learning something new about myself to be much more valuable then success. Because with growth and understanding, comes success.
4. Friends are out there. If you be yourself, you’ll find true friends.
Somehow the “right” people have walked into my life for no other reason then me being me. It took a lot of trust to let go of trying to be a friend, and instead just being it. Trying and being are two different things. Trying is fear, while being is trust. (gosh I got wise in 2012!)
5. Do not “hold onto” outcomes. Flow with life.
I like plans. In fact, I love plans. I love calendars. I love color coordinating calendars. Except there’s one thing-it’s called life and as much as I like to plan what will happen and how events will unfold, I can’t. If I try to, I end up hurting myself and missing out on opportunities. So instead I am letting my life flow, and not holding onto outcome. I am open to whatever happens!
6. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
I know no growth occurs when I am comfortable. As much as I hate to admit it, my greatest accomplishments come from being put in place that scare me to no end. This year I had to accept that if I wanted to be the best Tessa, I had to be uncomfortable… a lot.
7. Intention and actions are two different concepts. Make sure you don’t forget to act.
Intentions are great, but they are nothing, unless action is taken. I learned in order for my dreams to come into reality, I had to commit to them, push my fears out of my head, and just do it.
8. Surround yourself with people who are better than you.
In all aspects of my life, I choose to be around people who challenge me. I subscribe to blogs that talk about concept that push me out of my comfort zone. I go to events to talk to people who know more than me, who make me sometimes feel like I know nothing! I read books about Positive Psychology, Mindfulness, Original Play, the science behind exercise. Sometimes these ideas are hard to grasp, but I choose to fill my life with them so I can grow.
9. Success is the result of happiness. Not the other way around.
This year I really recognized when I chased success, I never was truly happy. I sought happiness in external ‘things’ like a grade on a test. I found that I never experienced true happiness, until I just lived in that state of content. By being generally happy, success has come to me.
10. You can’t choose what happens in life, but you can choose how you react.
Events or occurrences in my life only have significance, if I give them power. See we can’t control our lives and who comes into them, yet we can control how we react. We can choose to respond to negative situations by freaking out or we can seek lessons in them. Your life is how you choose to perceive and respond to what happens.
11. Isolation is dangerous to the human soul.
The tragedy in Newtown proved to me how important Touch and Connection is. We desire to be connected and it’s a threat to human survival if we are not, humans do crazy (horrible) things when they feel isolated. Because isolation and lacking connection, is living in your head~and that can be one scary place.
12. Be present.
I miss a lot of life when I get stuck in my head. My biggest assignment this past year has been to stay present and enjoy each moment. I’ve found that life is so much more precious when you’re really living it. There. In the moment.
My motto for 2012
I hope what I’ve learned this year, can help better your new year!
Excellent post. I personally share a similar experience of learning almost all of these life lessons in the year 2012. What a year it’s been!
This is such a fantastic article Tessa!
Thank you, Maddy! So glad you enjoyed the article!
Hi Tessa, find your posts so inspiring…especially this one. With your permission I would like to forward it to some of my friends.
Hi Mr. Nevas,
Please feel free to share any of my posts with your friends. I am so happy to hear you are enjoying iamtessa.com! Thank you!
Tessa,
Thank you sharing what you learned. I am looking forward to following your blog. Be Well.
Karen
Dear Karen,
Thank you for your kind words. I hope you enjoy iamtessa.com!
WIth Gratitude,
Tessa
Tessa, you may be biologically 16, but in reality you are much more mature. The above post confirms this. By coming to terms with yourself while keeping your sense of curiosity and wonder, you have made life discoveries that people many years past you (again, biologically) have not, and probably will not, find. I commend you on your journey, and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
I would like to ask your permission to use some of your content in my life purpose, which is to help people with life and relationships through coaching. When using your content I will ensure that links are posted and credit is assigned.
Thank you Tessa. You are a genuine inspiration!
Jerry
Dear Jerry,
Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot to me.
I would be honored if you shared my content. Please do.
Please let me know if I can help in any way!
WIth Gratitude,
Tessa